I do not wish to be virtually eliminated.

For the sake of appearances and to keep a healthy air of mystique about things we are going to call today’s correspondent Alex, Martin. ‘Martin’ wrote to me to ask if I might not like coming to work for him in Colchester. He noted, in the email, that Manchester (where I live) is a very long way from Colchester and that I might be reluctant to leave everything (my Kodak three-in-one printer) behind just for a job selling Applicant Trackers.

In the event of my not wanting to then at least I should take heart from the fact that ‘there are people out there who encourage personality within business’

Nice to know!

‘As well as encouraging absolute client focus’ he added.

During our correspondence ‘absolute’ escalated into unflinching’ client focus.

Unflinching client focus presumably being the species of client focus whereby you’re more intimate with your client’s needs than he himself is thanks to your conducting 24 hour in-person surveillance of your client from the bottom of his garden. A focus so extraordinary that it is only in the taxi away from your 14:00 face-to-face that he realises – your client, nestled into the backseat of the cab – realises that what you palpably smelled of during the meeting was his garden and his wife – too consumed, in the 14:00, by the nuclear intensity of your gaze and the can of WD40, giftwrapped, that you gave him to quiet the squeak of his bedroom door, to quite place the smell.

Aside from Martin’s questionable choice of words he was very nice and kind.

Everyone is.

Remember Danniii?

She had spunk.

Anyway those days are gone: I visited Martin’s site to take a look at what he sold - an applicant tracker, which is a curious piece of software used by recruiters everywhere -and I emailed him.

Colchester is a long way away.

One of the many functions of the twin-front-ended applicant tracker (alongside cataloguing CVs and the auto-dissemination of job adverts and rejection letters) is the automatic screening of applications like the applications I write.

Martin, it seems, has a healthy sense of irony.

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  1. #1 by abercrombie on December 16, 2011 - 9:27 am

    This is to sail it?

  2. #3 by Hal on January 31, 2012 - 9:00 am

    Been a while since your last update. I presume you now have a job or are living on the street. I hear its tough there :( Also wheres my wine :P

  3. #4 by rob on April 27, 2013 - 9:02 am

    hey bud,

    what’s up with you? got a job?

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